When we hear the term “self-care” we often have visions of elaborate spas and resorts offering daily massages, manicures, pedicures, and wonderful fresh food delivered with one call. That all sounds lovely, and then we look at the cost of such an outing and compare that to our bank accounts. We face reality and know that while a self-care resort experience might be a rare option, it’s probably not something we can do on a regular basis. We need to keep in mind that self-care doesn’t need to be expensive to be effective.

According to information adapted from RAINN.org, UK Violence Intervention and Prevention Program, self-care includes “any intentional actions you take to care for your physical, mental, and emotional health.” The best self-care routine is consistent, not expensive.

We hear a lot about meditating, deep breathing, and journaling for self-care, but we don’t always immediately think about what we can do for physical self-care. Physical self-care involves actions we must take everyday (eating and sleeping), so if we give those actions a little extra thought, we can make sure we are truly taking care of ourselves. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Food: eat regularly, even when you have a full, busy schedule. One self-care goal is to eat something, even a small amount, for each meal. Don’t let a busy day force you into eating something that you know isn’t going to truly feed you in a positive way, just because you don’t have a lot of time. Plan ahead by taking along some fruit &/or nuts to get you through the day without a stop at a fast food restaurant or convenience store.
Exercise: a quick walk at lunch time or after work can be calming after a stressful day or put a smile on your face when you’re feeling down. Set a goal of walking at least two or three times a week and then put those “appointments” into your schedule and you will feel a positive difference.
Sleep: the amount of sleep needed to feel rested is different for everyone. Pay attention to what your body is telling you to determine how much sleep is enough. Look at your bedroom with a critical eye, is the room conducive to solid, restful sleep? If not, what can you do to create an environment that helps you get the sleep you need? Perhaps closing the blinds at night to shut out outside lights, turning off all electronics at least one hour before bedtime, and going to bed at a regular time each night are self-care goals you can work towards.

None of those suggestions will cost additional money. We have to eat, so why not make every effort to make positive food choices? Taking a walk doesn’t mean you have to have a gym membership. Walking outside and enjoying the flowers and the birds while clearing your mind is free. Adjusting your night-time schedule and bedroom environment costs nothing, but can reap huge benefits. Remember, self-care can be free, but neglecting yourself is very expensive.

“Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.”
~ William Shakespeare, Henry V.

(Some information adapted from RAINN.org, UK Violence Intervention and Prevention Program)

I’ve been focusing on the theme of self-care over the last few weeks in my writing because my friend and teacher, Bhante Dhammawansha will be visiting the Lehigh Valley area in a week to offer some meditation events.

Meditation is one of my primary self-care activities because it clears my mind and allows me to move through the day with a feeling of peace. I started meditating at the age of 19, and it was challenging to begin a regular meditation practice. For the first 20 years I believed that I could only meditate if I were with a group of people, so meditation classes were a part of my weekly schedule. When I started living alone for the first time in my life I found that I was able to meditate alone, but I still love to meditate with others, too.

About nine months ago I discovered an app that helps with my daily meditation. That sounds like a contradiction: how can technology, help with meditation?  I was originally looking for an app that I previously had downloaded to my phone that sent Himalayan Singing Bowl sounds at pre-planned times. I used those sounds as a reminder to meditate at various points in the day. What I found was the Insight Timer app that allows me to time myself while meditating, to awaken to the sound of a singing bowl, and the use of a guided meditation, if I want to choose one.

Insight Timer is a free app that can be downloaded onto Apple or Android devices that offers something for everyone from beginners to those who have been “sitting” for years with a dedicated practice. Meditation means different things to different people. Some people see it as a sacred, quiet, and solitary experience. Others believe sharing their meditation experience enhances it. For some, that changes day by day and Insight Timer offers a community for all of those people.

The app offers “members” the ability to select the time and duration of their meditation, a variety of ambient sounds and bells for alerts or to use during meditation, hundreds of guided meditations, and a log of personal statistics and milestones for tracking progress (if that’s something you want to do).  Insight Timer also offers over 2500 discussion groups and local meet-ups with the central focus of meditation and it’s benefits.

The app also lets you know the number of people meditating (using the app) while you’re meditating. I mostly use the timer and the ambient sounds, but I love that I can see that people all over the world are meditating “with me” at the same time.
One of my favorite meditations is the “Loving Kindness Meditation.”             Here’s one version:
May I be peaceful.  
May I be happy.  
May I be well.  
May I be safe.  
May I be free from suffering.
 
May all beings be peaceful.  
May all beings be happy.  
May all beings be well.  
May all beings be safe.  
May all beings be free from suffering. 

The Insight Timer slogan is “peace in our timer”  and the creators believe that meditation can change the world for the better and that their goal is to offer the opportunity for  “a free and meaningful daily practice for all, regardless of financial means.”  You can download the app and get more information at https://insighttimer.com .

 I know my meditation practice has enhanced my life in many ways. It helps bring focus, peace, and balance to my daily life. It calms me in times of stress. It brings me joy to know that I’m a conduit for positive energy and love in the world through meditation. If you already have a meditation practice, this app might be a tool to enhance it. If you’ve wanted to begin a meditation practice, but don’t know how or just haven’t been able to make time for it, Insight Timer could help. It’s another way to take time for yourself in the midst of the busy-ness of life. If we don’t make time to care for ourselves, how can we ask others to do it?

As I mentioned in last week’s Chaos to Calm Blog, “Busy” even though I know I need to take the time to care for myself, I haven’t always been good at making self-care a priority. In the past, I think I might have felt, at least subconsciously, that putting myself at the top of the list is selfish and I was taught that being selfish is not nice.

Thankfully, I’ve learned over the years that taking time to care for myself, and making that a priority, is one of the best things I can do for my business, my friends and family, and for myself!

Of course, I had to learn it the hard way.  There were times when relaxation, meditation, and just plain “fun” kept getting pushed to the bottom of my to do list because I just didn’t have time. I thought there was far too much for me to do each day to take 30 minutes for a walk or even 10 minutes to meditate.

I currently live in Pennsylvania and suffer from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) . Sometimes known as “seasonal depression,” S.A.D. causes people who suffer from it to experience  depleted energy and sometimes depressive symptoms at the same time each year, most commonly in the winter. When I returned to Pennsylvania to live, it didn’t take me long to learn that I must  make going to the gym, keeping my Ott light on, and regular meditation a part of my schedule. Those activities help to reverse S.A.D. and this past winter, I felt much better than the prior winter because I took better care of myself by making those activities a priority when preparing my schedule.

Now I know that when I sit down to review and plan my schedule for the next week or two, I have to schedule time for self-care. Whether it’s a daily walk, a meditation practice, lunch with friends, or time for a massage, I make an appointment with myself in my calendar for that time. When setting work schedules, I treat my self-care time just like an important client appointment. After all, I am an important client.

The bottom line is, if I don’t take care of myself, who will? I also suffer from sciatica. It is mostly in remission, and as a result, I forget that I even have it! Recently, I had an abundance of events that required me to drive my car two or three hours each way. Driving for an extended period of time is historically an activator for sciatica, and I forgot! The reminder is painful, so this week I have taken extra self care/recovery time to bring my body back into balance.  We can’t expect others to respect us and our time, if we don’t respect and care for ourselves.

Take a moment to look at your schedule for the next day or two. Where do you have time scheduled for self-care? It can be as simple as 10 or 15 minutes a day for a walk or coffee with a friend or even time to read a novel or magazine for fun. Remember to put an appointment with yourself and for yourself at the top of the list when preparing your weekly schedule and you’ll be surprised how much these little chunks of time will help you feel better and be more productive.