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Face the Fear: Take the First Small Step to Finding Your "I Am"

10/21/2016

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Halloween is almost here. I know people who absolutely love Halloween and start decorating their homes and yards as soon as they flip their planners to  “October 1.”  
I have a secret – I’ve never really liked this holiday! Maybe,  when I was a kid I found it fun to get dressed-up and go trick-or-treating in my neighborhood. It was safe. It was fun, but I suspect our true identities were given away during the annual candy hunt because were always accompanied by our moms. As I got older, I outgrew the dressing-up part. I found the few Halloween parties that I did attend unsettling - I wanted to know who was really behind those masks. Even then, I didn’t like the idea of hiding, or not being myself. But, I probably never really was able to express that feeling clearly and out loud back then.
My focus this month is on removing the mask and nurturing our true essence to allow our inner being to shine. I’m not talking about the mask or costume some might choose to put on to celebrate Halloween, but rather the masks that many wear every day out of obligation rather than desire. As I’ve mentioned in my the last two blogs (October 7 and 14) there have been times in my life when I’ve realized that I was living according to false expectations for myself: the expectations of my family, my community, the world...and even the false expectations I put on myself because I was listening more to my mind rather than to my heart, soul, and true essence. Thankfully, I was able to recognize the source of my unhappiness...the source of the void I felt inside, even though, from outward appearances, I had it all. I was able to take off the masks and begin to nurture my true essence and allow my inner being to shine. 
Last April, I was in Salem, Massachusetts, for a conference entitled The All and Everything Conference. This annual conference brings together many people from around the world for the purpose of learning and sharing information on how to be who we truly are. It felt odd to be in Salem for this conference. Salem - the town where years ago women were burned at the stake after being labeled “witches”, because they were different and/or misunderstood. They didn’t fit the current culture norm of what a colonial woman should be or do. They didn’t wear the mask expected of them by their geographic or religious community. They weren’t allowed to throw off the mask and let their inner being shine without serious repercussions. Thankfully, that’s not usually the case in today’s world. We have the freedom to be who we truly are. Don’t get me wrong, I know there can be repercussions for discarding the masks we’re expected to wear, but they’re not typically deadly. In modern society, we carry so many expectations, not only from our own mind, but also from many people, communities, and institutions outside of ourselves. Society doesn’t make it easy for anyone to just be who they are...to let their true inner being shine in the world. 
Have you ever thought to yourself, “why can’t I just be Who I AM?” I think, deep down inside each, we each long to find that “I AM-ness” and nurture it and allow it to take the reins. If we’re honest with ourselves, we all long to remove the masks we believe we must wear to fit into our society, but we let fear keep us trapped behind those masks. Halloween is the year when many people find fear fun and with Halloween ten days away,  we’re in the thick of it. We go to haunted houses. We put up spooky decorations. We watch scary movies. Those things can be creative and fun, but this year, why don’t we really make an effort to Face the Fear that’s holding us back?  Take some time to consider what masks do you feel obligated to wear? How do those masks and expectations hold you back from who you are? How do those masks prevent you from living the life you want and need to live?
What if, during this increasingly Yin time of year, we take the time to listen to our true essence? You can learn more about the Yin time of year in my September blogs, but basically, it’s a time of quiet, reflection, retreat, and preparation for the new year.
Let’s take time to face the fear that’s holding us back and consider how we can be who we truly are and show our inner being to the world every day.

I wish someone would have handed me the answer to that question. I wish there was a road map to getting to the place where we nurture our true essence and our inner beings shine every single day without stress or fear. I wish I had those answers and plans for you, too. But, that one-size-fits-all road map doesn’t exist. That destination is a little different for everyone and the journey there is unique for each person.  I was told at a young age, “the answers are inside you.” I didn’t understand it then, but thankfully, I began to get clues to understanding early on when I got out on my own and discovered yoga and meditation. But, it wasn’t until recently that I truly understood what that meant.  We each must discover who we really are and no one can simply hand us that information or tell us how to reach that destination. The road to understanding and action is different for each of us. As I mentioned in my earlier October blogs, our inner being never abandons us. It’s always there waiting, like a loyal friend....waiting for your acknowledgement and your invitation for that true essence to step forward. The Universe gives us clues and a sense of knowing that, if we open ourselves to awareness, can lead us to the path we need to follow to remove the masks and nurture our inner being.
Many of us in the Feng Shui profession have a mission to guide people and help them see what the Universe is trying to share with us. I love helping clients uncover and understand those clues. Through Feng Shui and Himalayan Singing Bowl meditations, I can help you gather the information and begin to understand it. I can help you take action that will lead to more clues and information from the Universe and your true essence. I can lead you and help you find the beginning of your personal path, but you, my friend, must do your own work to remove the masks, just as those before you have had to do, too. You can do it. It won’t always be easy, but you can do it. If you take small steps, you’ll be well on your way before you know it.
 

Namaste,
Carol
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Removing the Mask

10/7/2016

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For twenty-three years, I’ve used Feng Shui as a certified consultant to enhance the flow of Chi and create harmony in the external environments of homes and offices. That harmony and flow of life energy offers healing and support to the inhabitants of those spaces (my clients and myself).

That healing and support helps us to be who we really are internally and/or who we wish to be on the inside.  Typically without even realizing it, we are attracted to spaces that reflect our current inner state of being. When I see a client’s space, it’s as if I’ve been given a window to look deep inside, beyond the mask worn for the external world.
Often when I meet with clients, perhaps it’s a couple or business partners, they’ll smile and tell me “everything is wonderful...there are no problems in our lives.” But, when I look at their space or at the floor plans for their space, I can see that’s not the case. Occasionally, the layout of the space will show me signs of relationship issues. If that happens, I’ll smile in response to the couple and advise that we discuss making changes to ensure the relationship stays intact.  Not everyone is prepared to handle my response. I’ve literally had instances where one of the partners leaves in the middle of our appointment only for me to learn from the remaining partner that the relationship is in shreds!
Sometimes, it's not easy to be honest about who we really are. We live in a world filled with expectations and we get caught up in perpetuating those identities. They begin in childhood: “be a good girl”; and expand while we’re in elementary and high school: “make the honor roll” “be the star football player” “you must be first chair in band”. They continue throughout college and career: “finish in the top ten percent” “get promoted” “get that raise”; Expectations even find their way into our communities and families: “keep your lawn perfect”  “drive a new car” “be the strict parent” “be the cool parent.” The list goes on and on. We’re expected to wear many hats and be different people all at the same time. How can we be true to our inner being when we’re trying to live up to so many expectations? Who doesn't long to remove 'the mask' and be authentic? 
Of course, we all have responsibilities. Where would our society be if we didn’t each follow the rules and laws to keep some order? I’m not suggesting we throw all caution to the wind and ignore our responsibilities. I believe we can be a parent, a daughter/son, an employee, a homeowner, a spouse, etc. and meet our “external” responsibilities while still being true to ourselves and meeting our “internal” responsibilities.
George I. Gurdjieff, an Eastern mystic, noted that many of us lead our lives as if we were in jail! We get so caught up in doing the “right thing”, putting on the “right” face, and living up to others' expectations, that many of us may come to a point where we know we’re uncomfortable, unsettled, and unsatisfied, but truly don't know who we are or how to fix things! I was introduced to this concept 25 years ago, when I first hired a life coach. The coach had me draw a small circle inside a big circle, labeling the center "ME". I then was instructed to write roles I played in life, inside the circle, and even outside. Some examples included that I was: a child, a spouse, an employee, a yoga practitioner, a President of a non-profit business organization, a volunteer, a synagogue member,  an exercise enthusiast, a sibling, etc. I then drew circles around each, to see which 'took over' being just me. A light-bulb went off when I realized that "I" was very small, almost non-existent, outside of these self imposed personalities that "I" had become!
So, it was 25 years ago that I began to learn how to remove the masks of expectation...the masks that had become so ingrained, so a part of my every day life, that they had taken over my authentic self.  During a visit to another country, I met a mystic who said, upon meeting me, "You are not the one you think you are." I pondered that statement for a very long time, as truly, I wondered: Who am I really? It's not an easy road to take to peel away the layers of expectation. In fact, in many ways it's much easier to keep all the masks on, continue to meet expectations and play roles without giving any thought to how all of that busy-ness feeds our soul and allows our true essence to shine. We can ignore our authentic selves; ignore the  desire of our essence to be expressed; ignore our true being...but, when we do that we frequently become ill in the “jail” we’ve created for ourselves
Synchronicity played out in my life when I discovered yoga and meditation, and later, Feng Shui, (Bau) Building Biology, and the Himalayan Singing Bowls. Soon after I graduated high school, I discovered yoga and meditation. As I advanced in my career, the practice of yoga and mediation helped me survive the years as a VP at a major NYC bank when I frequently suffered from severe headaches and migraines. When I left the bank, I “fell” into my yoga and meditation practice! It was a saving grace of respite and a reminder that life is more than the fast pace that I’d been immersed in. Not long after I left the bank, I discovered Feng Shui and Building Biology and I learned how the built environment can negatively affect human health, especially if we’re not using healthy, organic materials. I learned that it was possible to “heal” my surroundings, which led to my own improved health. Later in life, I discovered the Himalayan Singing Bowls and learned that they, too, are a tool that enables me to go deeper in meditations and helps me and others feel a deeper sense of calm. That deep resonating calm is when I learn more about myself and nurture my true inner being. Each of these tools have helped me remove the masks, peel away the layers of expectation, and allow the true light of my being to be expressed.
As a Feng Shui Consultant, I have found that the Universe often speaks to me about me through my clients' surroundings! When there’s something that I need to take a look at in my own life, I might find that two or three clients in a row will have the same Feng Shui anomalies. For instance, I’ve experienced visiting two homes for Feng Shui consultations and finding a bathroom in the center of the home, which is the health area of the bagua. Then, I’ve gone on to my next consultation and found, once again, that there’s a bathroom in the center of the home. A bathroom in this area of the bagua indicates a drain on health because of the toilet in the room.  When I see a bathroom in this location, I advise adding cures to the area to support the health of the occupants. When I see specific issues in a repetitive pattern like this, I definitely go home and take a look at the health area of my own home. I also spend time considering where there might be an imbalance in my life. I’m human...sometimes the Universe has to provide insights several times for me to “get it” and this is something that my fellow Feng Shui consultants have also experienced. As I believe that we are all part of the greater One, it is not a surprise that I receive this type of feedback. It may be something to begin looking at in your own life. What are the repetitive patterns or synchronicities  that show up in numerous places? 
Take a moment to consider what masks you wear.  Are you really who you think you are? Are you allowing your true essence to be expressed? Just as I often advise people to remove the physical clutter from their lives, I am suggesting that we each have a plethora of “cluttering” personalities that we present to the world and there’s a good chance that at least some of those personalities don’t represent the true you. This month (the month that ends with Halloween and costume celebrations)  I'll share some ideas about removing the masks and allowing our true inner beings to shine.  Not everyone is attracted to this journey, but it can be quite liberating.  Removing some of those masks will lighten up your life! Our homes are perfect metaphors for us to find clues to changes lying in wait for us to put into action. Fasten your seatbelt - this month we'll be diving into some new territories!

Namaste,
Carol




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Reaching the depths with Himalayan Singing Bowls

4/8/2015

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Do you ever look back and realize something was a life changing event? I often do, and one of them was the purchase of my first Himalayan Singing Bowl at HH Dalai Lama's Kalachakra Initiation in 1999. Something drew me to the sound, it 'touched' the depths of my soul, and I knew I couldn't go home without it. 

Once home, I would play it occasionally, and placed it in my living room on an open shelf. I would see it and occasionally play it, but that was about it. The 2nd life changing bowl event was the day after my parents were in a horrible car accident with a tractor trailer in a blizzard. I was rushing to leave for the airport, and turned back to get my bowl.

Once arrived in PA, I found my parents in two separate rooms, at the opposite ends of a large hospital. My Dad with a few broken bones but conscious; my Mom, one broken bone but in a coma. I took the bowl in and played for each of them, every day, for several weeks. In my mind, I felt that i was creating a safe energy field to allow each of them to heal. Groups of people soon learned of my visits, and arranged to be there when I played. All were curious.

I took in a CD player and instructed the nurses to keep a recording of Music For The Mozart Effect, Volume 1, Strengthen the Mind by Don Campbell on repeat, to assist my Mom's 'awakening'. One day we noticed that her fingers were tapping under the blankets, although she did not appear to have yet regained consciousness.  Christmas was nearing, and she loved Barbara Streisand. So I replaced Don with Barbara, hoping it would help her.

One afternoon, I was in her room, talking to a nurse, and I heard a little voice singing along with Barbara. I turned, and it was my Mom! She slowly opened her eyes, and although it took more therapy to bring her back, I truly believe that music helped her heal.

I've played for others in hospitals, at their homes, and meditation workshops.  I usually find that most people reach a place that brings them comfort. Years after the accident, my Father requested that I play the bowls for him to help him sleep. It worked like magic; a few minutes later he would be sound asleep. In the end, the last communication we had was when he was in Hospice. Nearing death, I brought my original one bowl in, and played around his entire body. 20 minutes later, he transitioned peacefully. 

The power of sound always amazes me. The Himalayan Singing Bowls are simple to use, yet powerful tools. It is amazing how they can be used to help others, while they also help the one who plays. If you have something weighing on your mind, I highly recommend turning to 'the bowls' for gentle releasing of of your concerns.




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    Carol sends her peace filled thoughts out often, to interested parties!. Her 27 years of experience will benefit you in immeasurable ways!

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