Just one day before Christmas and Chanukah Eves....
If you celebrate either of these holidays, it can be quite a busy and chaotic time. If you celebrate another winter holiday, the frenzied feel of this time of year affects you, too, with traffic and long lines, etc. This holiday-time creates a lot of active “Chi” in a naturally quiet, still, and dark season. Because the holiday season is so busy and active, we need to make sure there’s a balance, just like the Yin/Yang symbol that represents all of life in balance.
We need to create a balance between the time for activity and time for quiet introspection, time to be alone and time to be with others. At the heart of Feng Shui is keeping one’s Chi in balance. From a place of balance we can live healthy, wealthy, connected, and content lives.
Our society, unfortunately, does not encourage balance. We are bombarded with the messages: “Go, Go, Go!” “Do, Do, Do!” “Spend, Spend, Spend!”
It’s up to us to set boundaries for ourselves to create the balance we need. One important thing to remember is that we’re each unique and find balance in different ways. Another equally important point to remember is that, you must listen to your body and your mind. Pay attention to the signals that tell you your energy is being depleted and that you need to “recharge” in the way that’s best for you. I think many family disagreements during the holidays could be avoided if we would each recognize and respect our unique energy limits, as well as those of family members. In order to understand and respect our energy limits, we need to really pay attention to how we feel (emotionally, physically, and mentally) as well as how we react to people and situations.
Our homes are supposed to be our sanctuaries...a place for quiet, for introspection, for joy, for fun, and for recharging....a retreat from society and the outside world that helps us stay balanced. I just moved, and it was very important for me to immediately create an area where I could meditate and to create a peaceful bedroom in the midst of unpacking, organizing, and many holiday commitments. Do you have a favorite space in your home that allows you to meditate or just sit and think with a cup of tea or coffee?  If not, consider creating that space for yourself. It can be very simple, a comfy chair with a pillow and warm throw, a few cushions on the floor, and maybe a nice view, either out a window, or of a beautiful piece of art. Perhaps you can enjoy that favorite space with some music that brings you peace and joy. Make a real effort to spend some time alone, recharging in whatever way suites you best, during these next few days.
Creating a daily plan is another way to stay in balance. Overcommitting quickly leads to an imbalance in one’s Chi.  As you plan your days and try to find time for the holiday “shoulds,” don’t forget to schedule at least a little time for yourself each day: time that allows you to focus completely on yourself, by yourself. For me it’s a daily walk, for others it might be time for reading, meditating, cooking healthy meals, hot baths with calming essential oils, time with a pet, or personal care services like a manicure, pedicure, acupuncture treatment, or massage. The point is to not overlook your needs in the midst of the busy holiday season.
Attending spiritually-related services and events can also support your Chi balance. The moments spent focusing on spirit, in whatever way that calls to you, in the company of others sharing the same focus, can offer a powerful “recharge” and a peace to calm anxiety and frustration. Something else I try to do regularly is to write in a gratitude journal first thing in the morning or last thing in the evening. It helps me stay grounded and focused on the good in my life. It’s especially meaningful to take a few moments to write in a gratitude journal on the holiday itself, or just before or after gathering with loved ones and friends in celebration.
I’m looking forward to celebrating in my new home, but before that, I’ll be going to New York City for a holiday party at the United Nations. Being in the city during the holidays always brings me joy. I love to visit the tree at Rockefeller Center, walk down Fifth Avenue for some window shopping, and just enjoy the beautiful lights, sights, and sounds of the city for an evening. I know I’ll also be thankful for the bus ride back home which will give me time to think about my day or read, instead of concentrating on traffic. Most of all, I’ll love returning to my peaceful home....my personal retreat.

May you all experience joy, peace, and balance this holiday weekend!

Namaste,
Carol

Many people are thinking about presents at this time of the year....what they want, what they want to get for others, who they feel obligated to buy for, etc. Commercialization of the season, a naturally quiet and introspective time of year, runs rampant and turns a “still season” into something frenetic and chaotic.

When you think about the holidays do you think of “presents” as in STUFF or “presence” as in EXPERIENCE and RELATIONSHIP?
Thinking back to past holidays, what have been the most valuable presents? The cozy robe and slippers are surely appreciated, video games and electronics illicit shouts of excitement, and jewelry bring gasps of surprise and tears of joy; but what have been the most truly valuable presents in your life? Almost always they are the gifts of time, experience, and relationship.
Presents are typically forgotten over time, but sharing experiences and being truly present with those we love are times rarely forgotten. For many people, the exchange of presents is a part of the holiday traditions in families and with friends. There’s something comforting about honoring traditions and perhaps traditions even make it easier on those who organize and host holiday events. An aunt brings her famous pie; a cousin brings his special homemade pickles; a sibling brings the board games...perhaps everyone draws a name from a hat so that each person only has one gift to buy, but everyone gets to open a present. Each family and culture has its own traditions and people follow them year after year, generation after generation.
I’ve long been a bit of a maverick when it comes to tradition. I truly enjoy trying out things new and different because I love new experiences, people, cultures and visiting countries new to me.
  I’m the member of the family that never learned to cook a turkey, but I don’t let that hold me back. My father went on an annual trek to the mountains on Thanksgiving, so as an adult, I enjoyed taking my Mom out for holiday brunches. We always managed to find a wonderful buffet that usually had a cottage-style gift shop, and that was a part of our shared holiday experience. Many of my friends are of the Jewish faith and don’t celebrate Christmas; I enjoy seeing the latest movies with them on Christmas Day. I was married to a Jewish man, so for a number of years, we celebrated both Hanukah and Christmas with a cross cultural feast and our blended family.
Another tradition for many is putting up a Christmas tree. If we choose to have a tree and look at this tradition with a Feng Shui perspective, we can carefully consider what area of the bagua to place it.  This year, my nontraditional recycled wrought iron ‘tree’ with South American gourd ornaments, will be located in the FAME area, where lights are welcomed as they represent the FIRE element. A more traditional green Christmas tree would be right at home in the FAMILY area where the element is WOOD and the color is green.  If you are concerned about spending too much money over the holidays, consider putting it in the WEALTH area, where WOOD (green) nourishes and RED stabilizes.  
Perhaps the Christmas tree tradition can be used to add more mindfulness to the holiday and also focus more on the shared experience. Any time we can make choices that support the environment; we’re doing a good thing for ourselves and society. Why not consider getting a tree from a sustainable tree farm that plants two or three trees for every tree that’s cut? Ask family members to join you in choosing and cutting the tree. Perhaps a potted Norfolk Pine is a better choice for you. You can enjoy it year round and decorate it for other holidays, in addition to Christmas. Maybe something unique like my recycled wrought iron ‘tree” is more your style. Whatever you do, please don’t buy fake trees. There’s no healthy purpose for them. Another way to make the Christmas tree tradition a shared experience instead of a chore is to ask family members and friends to help you put up the tree and make decorations for it, or go through the old ornaments and talk about the memories they bring up. This can turn in to a wonderful event and a new tradition that everyone looks forward to.
The point is to make this season about PRESENCE not PRESENTS. When you think about presents, consider shared experiences and time spent together rather than “stuff.” Everyone likes to have a gift to open during the holidays, but remember it doesn’t have to be big and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Simple gifts like a handwritten letter or an invitation to dinner and a movie; gifts of time like “an afternoon to clean out the attic” can mean the world to people...so much more than another electronic device or shirt they won’t really wear.
What can you do to simplify the holiday season for yourself and your family? Who would you like to spend more time with and how can you be more present for them? How can you honor the family traditions you love and still be mindful? How can you turn the chaotic, frenetic time into a true time of calmness, peace, and joy? I’ve offered a few suggestions today and will offer more each week. Remember as you plan your holiday season to take a deep breath and take care of yourself because inner peace is the most important ‘peace’ of all.

Namaste,
Carol

The holiday season is upon us. The advertisements featuring happy families sitting down for a holiday meal together or gathered around the Christmas tree are on television, internet, radio, billboards...the expectations and triggers bombard us.
Most families don’t fit the picture-perfect ideal promoted in these advertisements. My family life, like that of so many others I’ve met, has not been perfect. I accept that fact and I’ve learned that trying to create the facade of the perfect family to meet the expectations set forth by society creates frustration and pain, and often depletes energy. Instead, I’ve learned that I can have a family of choice that is in divine order for me. I’ve also learned that I can be grateful for all that I’ve learned from my biological family, no matter how I spend the holidays.
When I lived in Florida, my community was made up of many people who had relocated there and who didn’t have family nearby, and many of those people were single. At the time, I was blessed to have my parents living near me, but they weren’t always around for holidays because they’d often travel north to see their grandson and my sister. By that time I had already decided that I wasn’t a fan of traveling during the holidays, especially Thanksgiving, because it was such a hassle at the airports. So I started staying home.  I had open houses and invited others that were alone for the holidays to visit and celebrate with me. Sometimes I accepted invitations to share the holiday with close friends in their homes. Occasionally I took advantage of the day to enjoy the beach or the movies alone.
I never learned how to cook a turkey, so I would order a fully cooked/slicked turkey with all the trimmings from the local kosher deli; the meal was always a success and I got to spend the day with my friends. During that time of my life, I learned to be grateful for the people I was with, whether they were a part of my biological family, my chosen family, or people I'd met recently. I felt thankful to be breaking bread, sharing stories, and feeling the joy of community with new and old friends alike, and because I reached out and opened my home to others, many people were grateful to have a place to go and someone to celebrate with.  I learned so much while sharing that time with others, in different situations, with a variety of traditions, some completely new to me. I also learned a great deal by spending holiday times alone.  
So, what are my recommendations for you during the holiday season?  First, I hope that you were able to enjoy yesterday in a way that brought you joy, whether you celebrated Thanksgiving or not. Today is typically the big kick-off to the holiday shopping season. Society's expectations encourage us to spend money to show our affection, sometimes pushing us to spend more than we really have.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the holiday season and I find joy in giving gifts to loved ones and receiving gifts from them. I do believe though, that shopping can be a distraction and can create tremendous stress, especially at this time of the year. I think there are other things we can do to create a happy holiday season for ourselves and others.
Volunteering is on the top of my list  because I truly feel like I'm receiving a gift every time I volunteer to help those less fortunate. As temperatures drop, we should remember that there are people who don't have warm coats to wear. Locally, I volunteer for Project Keep Warm, where we collect donations for the homeless, veterans, and struggling families. There is a deep sense of gratitude in the faces of those served and there's really nothing like the feeling you get from helping others.  I'm sure you can find a volunteer opportunity in your area that resonates with you. Even in warmer climates, there are "cold spells" and the homeless need warm clothing. They also regularly need hats to help protect them from the sun, and shoes. When I lived in Florida, for some reason it seemed to feel even colder when the temperature drops down there!
Work on yourself! What about that long ignored Feng Shui project that you started to think about, but, stopped due to other obligations? Perhaps there’s a closet with too much clothing in it – what a great opportunity to declutter and donate!  Take a tour of your home, room by room, and look with an eye for items that are unused and don't bring you joy. Getting rid of those items can free up some space that will allow the Chi to flow freely and create a sense of openness in your life. How about rearranging your furniture? Look at each room in your home and ask yourself if the room is really welcoming. If it's not, what might help change that? It might be that your sofa has its back towards the room entrance - that suggests that people stay out of your life. If you want more friends, and happier families, try turning the sofa around! Perhaps there's a piece of art on the wall that fails to make you smile. Consider finding a replacement, something that lifts your spirits when you enter the room. Rearranging furniture and making small changes can really liven up a space, so ask family members to help and see how it feels.
Take care of yourself! The holidays are emotional times, and with those emotional times come triggers that can be difficult to cope with. I’ve learned that staying busy keeps my mind happy and prevents feelings of loneliness over the holidays.  I’ve also found it's best to wisely choose how and with whom I spend my time.  I make those choices in accordance with my inner being and what is right for me. Call up a friend.... your ‘movie’ friend, or your ‘walking’ friend, or your ‘try a new adventure friend’ and get out, and fulfill your hearts’ desires! Even a phone call to someone out of state or country, or a visit to the elderly – all help elevate mood, yours and someone else's. Today, my “chosen” family is all over the globe. We keep in touch and we see each other at every opportunity and I’m grateful for each and every one of them.
The holidays are a special time: beautiful and full of tradition, but also stressful and painful in many ways. We can all survive, and even enjoy, the holidays if we remember to carry a sense of compassion and gratitude wherever we go, for everyone that we encounter. Plan your days and weeks to include activities that will nurture you, as well as helping others. Let’s all remember to give ourselves the best present possible this holiday season; the gift of self-care. Listen to your inner voice and spend time and energy doing things with people (or alone) that will lift you up, and be grateful for every moment. Namaste,
Carol

Beautiful gifts don’t always come in pretty packages.
I believe that the Universe is always in divine order, and that when my wishes aren’t fulfilled, it’s because there’s something better, bigger, or more “right” in store for me. Even though I believe and know that’s true, it’s not always easy to accept the unfulfilled wish, then wait and be ready for the “better and bigger and more right.” We tend to want what we want when we want it and it’s unsettling when that doesn’t work out. We have to have faith that there is a divine reason what we wanted didn’t come to pass and we often have to go through a dark tunnel before we can see and appreciate the light and the beauty.
Some of the most difficult times of my life, ended up being some of the most beautiful times of my life.  A little over five years ago,  I planned to move to New York City and take a marketing/event coordinator position for a Buddhist organization. I was excited about returning to NYC and planned to work my Feng Shui business while working in this exciting position. I never imagined that after selling everything and moving north, the position would not come to fruition. I struggled to understand the “why” of it, yet within days, I learned that my parents needed full-time, round-the-clock care. With that knowledge, all the thoughts of what to do with my life were overshadowed by my desire and need to care for them. I had four beautiful years caring for them and during that time created wonderful memories that will be with me for the rest of my life. It was not what I had planned, and quite honestly, it was unlikely that I would have totally uprooted my life in Florida to move back to Pennsylvania to care for them if I hadn’t been in limbo because the job in NYC fell through. In that instance, the dark tunnel lasted only a few short days, and with time I saw the light and the beauty of the situation.
As a high school student, I was a passenger in a car that collided head-on with a tree. The Universe had me sitting sideways, facing the driver, which likely saved my life. However, as a young woman with a broken collar bone that turned GREEN just in time for the prom, I was devastated. There were tough times as I healed from the accident, yet because of that accident,  my college education was funded almost entirely by the settlement from the insurance company. It took me a little longer to see the light and beauty of that situation and I’m grateful for that gift to this day.
I’ve learned, time and time again, that what I think is best, is not always best for me. In those cases, the Universe has something else in mind for me; something that is “right” that I’m not able to see right away.  We must not be quick to judge others or situations because we don’t know what is being lined up karmically. Life is a balance of Yin and Yang, light and dark. Where there is anger, violence, and hatred; love will overcome. The point is, when we receive something in our lives that we don’t consciously want; we can still be grateful and know that there is a reason. Each moment or situation is a stop along the journey on to something bigger, better, and right.
Namaste,
Carol

It’s a little hard to believe we are already well into November, the month of Thanksgiving...the holiday of gratitude, and nearing the end of 2016. I’ve celebrated Thanksgiving in a number of ways with a variety of people and on my own, and the thing I love most about the holiday is its simple premise: be thankful and show your gratitude.

It’s wonderful that there’s a national holiday reminding us to be grateful, but my goal is to show gratitude every single day. Gratitude is an energizing act that is actually easy to perform. When we appreciate others, and let them know they’re appreciated, we increase positive feelings for ourselves and for them. We create a positive energy exchange. As I’ve mentioned many times, our thoughts create our reality. When our thoughts are negative, resentful, selfish or jealous , we bring negativity into our reality...we create more negativity for ourselves - NOT for the person or situation we feel negatively about. We taint our field of possibilities when we think negatively. Negativity takes up a lot of “space” and energy, so there won’t be room for the wonderful positive things in your life when negativity is present.
My life was transformed many years ago through yoga and meditation. Later, through a tradition that included meditations, I was introduced to Feng Shui. While Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese art of placement, incorporates the physical ‘reminders’ in our surroundings, the meditations that go along with the Feng Shui cures are the real game changers. When I offer a Feng Shui consultation, we look at the physical space and how furnishings are placed,  to enhance the flow of Chi, or life energy throughout the space. Chi is a positive force or energy, so we want it to flow freely throughout our homes and offices. Sometimes, furnishings need to be moved, colors changed or added, and in some cases, building design impedes the flow of Chi so we need to add special cures. I recommend changes and “cures” to remove the blocks or issues that affect the life energy of the space. With those changes and cures come meditations and the setting of intentions. Those focused words are incredibly powerful. With much time and practice, the ‘cure’ could simply be accomplished with the use of the mind, meditation, and focus with gratitude for the for all the positive things in our lives.
Some of you may be thinking that it’s easy to show gratitude when things are going well or even when things are “just OK” but what about when things are tough and you’re dealing with a negative person? What about those times when it feels that nothing is going right and you’re really struggling?  Those are the times when it’s even more important to look for the positive aspects of your situation or life in general.
Focus on the positive and I guarantee more that things will begin to change. When you feel yourself slipping into “why me” mode or you look around and think how easy it is for others, stop yourself and clear those thoughts from your mind and those feelings from your heart. What do you have to feel positive about? Do you have people in your life that love you and that you love in return? Do you have a pet that depends on you and is always there when you need a friend? Do you have a roof over your head, food to eat, and clothes on your back? Do you have friends you can talk to? Do you live close to mass transit? Did you see a beautiful sunset last night? Focus on the positive to generate more positive energy in your life.
Another positive to think about, and what many do not understand, is that when we have an “enemy” or a “bad” situation, there is positive energy there, as well. That “enemy” and “bad” situation bring us gifts. Those experiences bring the gifts of growth, understanding, and patience. Those experiences bring us information that can help us change our lives for the better. Possibly the biggest gift that our “enemies” and “bad” situations bring us is the experience of overcoming negative thoughts and the ability to wish them well. The experience of overcoming negativity to be grateful for someone or something that challenges us is so very powerful. And, when we do it once, we can do it again, and again, and again. The positive energy grows and grows so that the negative experiences become a smaller and smaller part of our lives.
As we go through our days, let’s look for the positive and be grateful. When we wake up in the morning, let’s say “Thank You” to the Universe. When we go to sleep at night, let’s say, “Thank You for this day.” Those seemingly small things can make a huge difference. As we prepare to celebrate our day of Thanksgiving, let’s try to practice gratitude every single day.
I’ll close by sharing a metta prayer that I love. It’s calming, peaceful, and positive. Repeat by replacing “I” with “my family”, then “my friends”, then “the world”....and yes, then even “my enemies.”
May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.

Namaste,
Carol