Many people are thinking about presents at this time of the year....what they want, what they want to get for others, who they feel obligated to buy for, etc. Commercialization of the season, a naturally quiet and introspective time of year, runs rampant and turns a “still season” into something frenetic and chaotic.

When you think about the holidays do you think of “presents” as in STUFF or “presence” as in EXPERIENCE and RELATIONSHIP?
Thinking back to past holidays, what have been the most valuable presents? The cozy robe and slippers are surely appreciated, video games and electronics illicit shouts of excitement, and jewelry bring gasps of surprise and tears of joy; but what have been the most truly valuable presents in your life? Almost always they are the gifts of time, experience, and relationship.
Presents are typically forgotten over time, but sharing experiences and being truly present with those we love are times rarely forgotten. For many people, the exchange of presents is a part of the holiday traditions in families and with friends. There’s something comforting about honoring traditions and perhaps traditions even make it easier on those who organize and host holiday events. An aunt brings her famous pie; a cousin brings his special homemade pickles; a sibling brings the board games...perhaps everyone draws a name from a hat so that each person only has one gift to buy, but everyone gets to open a present. Each family and culture has its own traditions and people follow them year after year, generation after generation.
I’ve long been a bit of a maverick when it comes to tradition. I truly enjoy trying out things new and different because I love new experiences, people, cultures and visiting countries new to me.
  I’m the member of the family that never learned to cook a turkey, but I don’t let that hold me back. My father went on an annual trek to the mountains on Thanksgiving, so as an adult, I enjoyed taking my Mom out for holiday brunches. We always managed to find a wonderful buffet that usually had a cottage-style gift shop, and that was a part of our shared holiday experience. Many of my friends are of the Jewish faith and don’t celebrate Christmas; I enjoy seeing the latest movies with them on Christmas Day. I was married to a Jewish man, so for a number of years, we celebrated both Hanukah and Christmas with a cross cultural feast and our blended family.
Another tradition for many is putting up a Christmas tree. If we choose to have a tree and look at this tradition with a Feng Shui perspective, we can carefully consider what area of the bagua to place it.  This year, my nontraditional recycled wrought iron ‘tree’ with South American gourd ornaments, will be located in the FAME area, where lights are welcomed as they represent the FIRE element. A more traditional green Christmas tree would be right at home in the FAMILY area where the element is WOOD and the color is green.  If you are concerned about spending too much money over the holidays, consider putting it in the WEALTH area, where WOOD (green) nourishes and RED stabilizes.  
Perhaps the Christmas tree tradition can be used to add more mindfulness to the holiday and also focus more on the shared experience. Any time we can make choices that support the environment; we’re doing a good thing for ourselves and society. Why not consider getting a tree from a sustainable tree farm that plants two or three trees for every tree that’s cut? Ask family members to join you in choosing and cutting the tree. Perhaps a potted Norfolk Pine is a better choice for you. You can enjoy it year round and decorate it for other holidays, in addition to Christmas. Maybe something unique like my recycled wrought iron ‘tree” is more your style. Whatever you do, please don’t buy fake trees. There’s no healthy purpose for them. Another way to make the Christmas tree tradition a shared experience instead of a chore is to ask family members and friends to help you put up the tree and make decorations for it, or go through the old ornaments and talk about the memories they bring up. This can turn in to a wonderful event and a new tradition that everyone looks forward to.
The point is to make this season about PRESENCE not PRESENTS. When you think about presents, consider shared experiences and time spent together rather than “stuff.” Everyone likes to have a gift to open during the holidays, but remember it doesn’t have to be big and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Simple gifts like a handwritten letter or an invitation to dinner and a movie; gifts of time like “an afternoon to clean out the attic” can mean the world to people...so much more than another electronic device or shirt they won’t really wear.
What can you do to simplify the holiday season for yourself and your family? Who would you like to spend more time with and how can you be more present for them? How can you honor the family traditions you love and still be mindful? How can you turn the chaotic, frenetic time into a true time of calmness, peace, and joy? I’ve offered a few suggestions today and will offer more each week. Remember as you plan your holiday season to take a deep breath and take care of yourself because inner peace is the most important ‘peace’ of all.

Namaste,
Carol

December, already! How did this happen?! It seems that the pages have flown off the calendar this year. Thanksgiving 2016 is already a memory and we are full swing into the holiday season. Recently I read that there are over 20 holidays (of various religions and cultures) between mid-November and mid-January!
The pace of life generally becomes a bit frenetic, even chaotic, after Thanksgiving as holiday events with friends, family, colleagues, and community take over our calendars. That’s really saying something because even during the “non-holiday” time of year,  our days are filled to the brim with “musts” and “shoulds.” Our calendars are full and our phones and computers chirp, ring, and buzz at us all day and evening, and we’ve trained ourselves to respond like Pavlov’s Dog, afraid that we might miss something important.
When was the last time you really relaxed? When have you enjoyed “unscheduled” time....taken time to sit with a friend for an impromptu catch-up session...read a book for fun...watched your children or grandchildren play or played with them? When was the last time you felt truly present...focusing on the time, space, and people you are in and with, instead of running through the list in your head of what you should do next? I propose that the most important gift you can give yourself, and those you love, is the gift of your PRESENCE, not a stack of presents.
I know, easier said than done. Somehow our society has set expectations so that we feel we must be busy all the time; that we must buy elaborate presents or many presents to show our love; that we must spend more than we have, etc. It won’t be easy to change these expectations in our society, but we can work to change them within our family and community....we can bring peace and calm to the chaos.
The ideal place to start is in our homes. Our homes can be a sanctuary away from the stress, noise, crowds, and expectations of the season. As a Feng Shui consultant, one of the first things I advise my clients to do is to remove clutter and unused/unwanted/unloved items from their homes. Clutter blocks the flow of Chi, or life energy, through a space which can leave people feeling anxious, frustrated, and overwhelmed. Each item in your home has it’s own energy and it sits in your space, affecting you. Decluttering is especially important during the holidays. Do you have an abundance of holiday decorations? Do they bring you joy and remind you of happy, loving times? Or, do you dread pulling them out of storage and only put them up out of a sense of obligation? There is no law that says that every room in our homes must be decorated for the holidays, or that every flat space should be filled with traditional family decorations. Decorate your space in a way that makes you smile when you walk in the room. If that means pulling out all your holiday decorations because you love them, that’s great...just remember to put away the day-to-day decorations, etc. so the space is not over-filled. Remember, if we don’t physically have space in our homes for life energy to flow, we’ll begin to feel stuck and overwhelmed and, there won’t be room for joy and fun when we celebrate the holidays with family and friends.
If you celebrate Christmas, another Feng Shui holiday tip is to stop and consider where you’ll put your Christmas tree. Christmas trees can take up quite a bit of space and we need to consider what is the best spot for them in the bagua of our homes. Before you put your tree up, think about what it means to you? Why do you put it up? How do you decorate it? Perhaps, the tree should be placed in the “family” area of the bagua because, for you, it represents the gathering of your family. Or, if you’ve traveled extensively and have purchased ornaments as a physical remembrance of those travels, perhaps the tree should go in the travel & helpful area of the bagua. Taking a few moments to reflect and consider the meaning and feeling behind these decorations and traditions instead of just doing it the way it’s always been done, can help you bring calm and peace to your holidays. Feng Shui can help you transform your home into a joyful, rejuvenating, and peaceful place during the holidays, and any time of the year.
Another way to bring calm to the chaos of the holidays is to play music that soothes you and helps you focus. This can be particularly helpful when we’re in the car and dealing with traffic. Rush hour traffic can be tough to deal with anytime, but during the holidays it seems that “rush hour” becomes rush HOURS. Because we can’t always find a route that bypasses dense shopping areas and the traffic that surrounds them during this season, it’s helpful to find ways to deal with the frustration created by traffic. One of my favorite CDs is Don Campbell’s Music For the Mozart Effect, Vol. IV Focus and Clarity: Music for Projects and Study https://mozarteffect.labelstore.ca/718795650422-music-for-the-mozart-effect-vol-iv-focus-and-clarity-music-for-projects-and-study-digital-mp3.html .  I also like to play this CD at home while I’m working.
Another favorite is Snatam Kaur’s Grace for Peaceful Calm. This is my “go-to” CD in the morning when I meditate. (Free YouTube: https://youtu.be/wh0IuOXxKnA?list=RDwh0IuOXxKnA – note that the picture gradually appears and then disappears. The point is the music!) I find that anything she sings is peaceful. Do you have some favorite holiday or spiritual music that calms you and brings you peace? It can be any kind of music as long as you love it and it has a peaceful effect on you. I’m always amazed at how music can lift me up, help me de-stress, and bring joy. We can control what we listen to in our homes and cars, why not choose music that helps us get through the holidays in a calm and peaceful way?
Don’t forget to take time out to meditate. Meditation is always important, but can really make the difference between a chaotic holiday season and a calm holiday season. Even just five minutes a day of quiet or guided meditation can help us have a positive and peaceful day. It doesn't matter whether you take your time at the kitchen table, at your desk, in your driveway before you leave for the day, or in a designated meditation space in your home, those few minutes help immensely.
There are many “little” things we can do to help bring calm to the chaos of the season and those “little” things bring big results. It’s so important, especially at this time of the year, to take care of yourself. Meditation as I’ve already mentioned is one way. Taking regular breaks and getting outside for a brief walk in nature can help you “reset” and de-stress. Yoga is a also very beneficial and, if you haven’t tried it before, look for a restorative style class. Practice compassion and mindfulness towards yourself and others. Remember, we don’t know the burdens others might be carrying with them, just as they don’t know ours. We can never go wrong when we choose kindness when dealing with others. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself, too! Respect your limitations and don’t push yourself to do more because you feel obligated. Yes, you’re allowed and encouraged to give yourself a break.
Do you remember a time when the holiday season seemed magical? When you truly looked forward to the time with family and/or friends without the stress and pressure casting a dark cloud over the celebrations? We can create a new holiday reality...a reality that focuses on calm, not chaos.

Namaste,
Carol

The holiday season is upon us. The advertisements featuring happy families sitting down for a holiday meal together or gathered around the Christmas tree are on television, internet, radio, billboards...the expectations and triggers bombard us.
Most families don’t fit the picture-perfect ideal promoted in these advertisements. My family life, like that of so many others I’ve met, has not been perfect. I accept that fact and I’ve learned that trying to create the facade of the perfect family to meet the expectations set forth by society creates frustration and pain, and often depletes energy. Instead, I’ve learned that I can have a family of choice that is in divine order for me. I’ve also learned that I can be grateful for all that I’ve learned from my biological family, no matter how I spend the holidays.
When I lived in Florida, my community was made up of many people who had relocated there and who didn’t have family nearby, and many of those people were single. At the time, I was blessed to have my parents living near me, but they weren’t always around for holidays because they’d often travel north to see their grandson and my sister. By that time I had already decided that I wasn’t a fan of traveling during the holidays, especially Thanksgiving, because it was such a hassle at the airports. So I started staying home.  I had open houses and invited others that were alone for the holidays to visit and celebrate with me. Sometimes I accepted invitations to share the holiday with close friends in their homes. Occasionally I took advantage of the day to enjoy the beach or the movies alone.
I never learned how to cook a turkey, so I would order a fully cooked/slicked turkey with all the trimmings from the local kosher deli; the meal was always a success and I got to spend the day with my friends. During that time of my life, I learned to be grateful for the people I was with, whether they were a part of my biological family, my chosen family, or people I'd met recently. I felt thankful to be breaking bread, sharing stories, and feeling the joy of community with new and old friends alike, and because I reached out and opened my home to others, many people were grateful to have a place to go and someone to celebrate with.  I learned so much while sharing that time with others, in different situations, with a variety of traditions, some completely new to me. I also learned a great deal by spending holiday times alone.  
So, what are my recommendations for you during the holiday season?  First, I hope that you were able to enjoy yesterday in a way that brought you joy, whether you celebrated Thanksgiving or not. Today is typically the big kick-off to the holiday shopping season. Society's expectations encourage us to spend money to show our affection, sometimes pushing us to spend more than we really have.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the holiday season and I find joy in giving gifts to loved ones and receiving gifts from them. I do believe though, that shopping can be a distraction and can create tremendous stress, especially at this time of the year. I think there are other things we can do to create a happy holiday season for ourselves and others.
Volunteering is on the top of my list  because I truly feel like I'm receiving a gift every time I volunteer to help those less fortunate. As temperatures drop, we should remember that there are people who don't have warm coats to wear. Locally, I volunteer for Project Keep Warm, where we collect donations for the homeless, veterans, and struggling families. There is a deep sense of gratitude in the faces of those served and there's really nothing like the feeling you get from helping others.  I'm sure you can find a volunteer opportunity in your area that resonates with you. Even in warmer climates, there are "cold spells" and the homeless need warm clothing. They also regularly need hats to help protect them from the sun, and shoes. When I lived in Florida, for some reason it seemed to feel even colder when the temperature drops down there!
Work on yourself! What about that long ignored Feng Shui project that you started to think about, but, stopped due to other obligations? Perhaps there’s a closet with too much clothing in it – what a great opportunity to declutter and donate!  Take a tour of your home, room by room, and look with an eye for items that are unused and don't bring you joy. Getting rid of those items can free up some space that will allow the Chi to flow freely and create a sense of openness in your life. How about rearranging your furniture? Look at each room in your home and ask yourself if the room is really welcoming. If it's not, what might help change that? It might be that your sofa has its back towards the room entrance - that suggests that people stay out of your life. If you want more friends, and happier families, try turning the sofa around! Perhaps there's a piece of art on the wall that fails to make you smile. Consider finding a replacement, something that lifts your spirits when you enter the room. Rearranging furniture and making small changes can really liven up a space, so ask family members to help and see how it feels.
Take care of yourself! The holidays are emotional times, and with those emotional times come triggers that can be difficult to cope with. I’ve learned that staying busy keeps my mind happy and prevents feelings of loneliness over the holidays.  I’ve also found it's best to wisely choose how and with whom I spend my time.  I make those choices in accordance with my inner being and what is right for me. Call up a friend.... your ‘movie’ friend, or your ‘walking’ friend, or your ‘try a new adventure friend’ and get out, and fulfill your hearts’ desires! Even a phone call to someone out of state or country, or a visit to the elderly – all help elevate mood, yours and someone else's. Today, my “chosen” family is all over the globe. We keep in touch and we see each other at every opportunity and I’m grateful for each and every one of them.
The holidays are a special time: beautiful and full of tradition, but also stressful and painful in many ways. We can all survive, and even enjoy, the holidays if we remember to carry a sense of compassion and gratitude wherever we go, for everyone that we encounter. Plan your days and weeks to include activities that will nurture you, as well as helping others. Let’s all remember to give ourselves the best present possible this holiday season; the gift of self-care. Listen to your inner voice and spend time and energy doing things with people (or alone) that will lift you up, and be grateful for every moment. Namaste,
Carol

It has long been my belief that we, as humans, are born with a clean, pure slate. As we grow, we adapt. We’re like sponges and soak up what we’re exposed to. We take on beliefs and behaviors of our parents, family, extended family, community, school, and spiritual community, etc. As we grow, we slowly lose contact with that pure inner being, our essence. However, our inner being never abandons us. Like a faithful friend, our true essence waits for us to recognize and embrace it.
Have you ever had a strong feeling that you just “know” something is “good” or “bad?” Have you ever made plans for something that you’ve thought you wanted and then, when faced with taking immediate action, you’re unable to follow-through? Have you ever met someone and instantly felt positive vibrations or negative vibrations?  That “knowing” and intense feeling is your inner being showing you your path. It’s your true essence making itself felt and known.  This inner compass is always there, guiding us to follow a path that is in our best interest. Sometimes it makes itself known with just a strong, steady sense of “knowing.” Sometime, it’s a gnawing feeling that we should or shouldn’t do something we’ve planned.
Perhaps you’ve heard people say, “follow your gut” or “listen to the little voice inside?” I believe those are ways some people refer to the inner being and true essence in each of us. Many times, our outer world, and often our very own mind, attempts to lead us down a path that’s not in our best interest. This happens frequently when we get caught up in the expectations of the world and of others. Those times when we focus more on what others think and want, rather than taking time for quiet re-charging and focusing on what it is that feeds our soul. That’s when we are likely to forget about our inner being for awhile and push full-steam ahead, until the “little voice inside” makes itself heard through persistent whisper and “knowing” or an intense “gnawing” feeling that won’t let you ignore it.
How do we get in touch and stay in touch with this essence? How do we keep our hectic world responsibilities from making so much “noise” that we don’t hear our own inner being when it speaks up?  Meditation has long been a prime connection for me.  Feng Shui has also helped me maintain my connection and communication with my inner being.  Feng Shui is a tool that allows me to ‘see’ and ‘connect’ with what the Universe/my inner being is attempting to guide me towards. I believe that the inner being in each of us is a direct connection to the Universe. 
This inner being, our true essence, is a real force. But it’s up against a strong outer force. The outer force, the outer world we all must function in and be a part of, often overwhelms us with noise of expectations and “shoulds.” We live on “the fast track.” We go and go and go because we “have to.” At least that’s what we think is true. But, how many times have you recently talked with friends and heard at least a couple of people say, “I wish I had time for....” or “It feels like time is flying. I wish I could slow things down.” or “I just don’t have time for myself”?  Those all too frequent statements shine the light on the state of our world. The outer world mantra seems to be “Keep Moving!” “Don’t Slow Down!” “You’ll Never Get Ahead If You Rest!”  We have to make the decision to listen to our bodies and our inner voices.
When we feel like things are going too fast, we’re the only ones who can slow things down for us and for our families. We have to say this is “enough.” We have to make the time for ourselves, and model this behavior for our children. If we don’t teach them to make self-care a priority, who will? As humans, we have an opportunity to develop and be in touch with the inner being and true essence in each of us.
Tune in to the little voice, the gnawing feeling in your chest or stomach. Pay attention to what your body and heart are saying to you. Pay attention to unusual sensations. The forms of “communication” by the inner being can vary greatly from person to person. Have you ever walked into a place new to you (a friend’s home, a restaurant, a workplace, etc.) and immediately felt tingly or as some say ‘hairs on my neck and arms stood up’....that’s another example of the inner being trying to communicate. My communication usually manifests as tightness or a knot in my stomach. That feeling tells me I need to be paying close attention and stop before moving forward or taking action. Sometimes I get a feeling of intense knowing. I’ve learned to pay attention to all of those feelings, no matter what someone else might say or think of me. 
It’s easy to say “pay attention” but not so easy to do when we’ve been marching to the beat of the outer world’s drum for a long time. How do we tune in to the beat of our own drum? One way is to explore and look for tools to help you slow down, rest, and focus. As I mentioned, meditation has been very important to developing my connection with my true essence. If you want to try meditation, set up a location within your home for a quiet retreat. It doesn’t have to be big or fancy, just a quiet, comfortable space that is peaceful, calm, and conducive to meditation. Use an app like Insight Timer that helps you keep track of time, and offers guided meditations; if that’s something you want or need.  Some people find that a walking meditation is easier and more beneficial. You can walk in your yard or at the park....wherever you feel calm and comfortable. Other tools that help us slow down and focus are yoga, tai chi, and astrology.
At age 39, when life as I knew it changed drastically, I was introduced to the astrological concept of the planet Uranus being in opposition to where it was located at my birth. As thankful as I am at finding yoga and meditation when I was 19, I am eternally grateful to Amy Volkers, a south Florida astrologer, for guiding me to understanding this ‘mid-life’ crisis point. My interpretation of the Uranus opposition is that, if we are not living in accordance with our inner being’s wishes for us, then during the late 30’s/early 40’s, life as we know it will crumble. I was a living example of this, having been a VP for a major bank with great responsibilities, a marriage, and all the ‘finer’ things in life. But, I walked away from it all. You see, I had an inner longing.
On the outside, it looked like I had ‘made it,’ but inside there was a vast void. Some of the happiest times of my life have been when I have released possessions, lived minimally, studied and practiced yoga and meditation, and ultimately discovered Feng Shui. My inner being had led me to real estate early on and throughout my career – from sales, to appraising, to buying and selling, land development, building, design and renovating. I believe that was all preparation so that I could understand the art of placement – Feng Shui –from all perspectives. By understanding the physical, the next dimension was the spiritual or esoteric side of buildings.
I’ve also studied dowsing, a technique used to get in touch with the earth’s energies. Many ancient buildings were built with consideration for the earth energies running underneath the properties. That means that the buildings were created in ways that allowed and fostered connection with the earth’s inner being or true essence. In addition, I’ve studied Building Biology and it’s helped me understand how the materials we use in building a structure or creating our space can affect our emotional, mental, and physical health.  My study of Feng Shui, Dowsing, and Building Biology allow me to get in touch with the earth’s inner being, as well as helping my clients get in touch with their inner being or true essence. Bringing this knowledge and these tools together allows us to create buildings and spaces with natural materials, with respect for the earth’s energies, and the life flow, or Chi, of the space. All this is helpful so that we can connect with our true essence and nurture it as we live and work in that space. Using the tools like meditation, yoga, tai chi, and astrology helps us to slow down and focus on the little voice inside....the inner being, our true essence and what it’s trying to tell us.  Using Feng Shui, Building Biology, and Dowsing helps us create a physical space that supports our inner beings.
And then, it all comes together in unity and wholeness.
As I mentioned in the closing weeks of September and in last week’s blog, October is a month of transition from the Yang/hot active summer to the Yin/introspective connecting time of winter. As we begin our nesting and preparation for the winter, I suggest that you take a moment to pause, focus, and consider what your inner being is saying to you.
Does your outer life reflect what your true essence really wants? If it doesn’t, how will you make the changes you want/need to honor your inner being? How will you nourish your true self? With peace, calm, focus, and mindfulness? With books, and music, and like-minded friends who are supportive and also yearning to listen to and heed the call of their inner beings? The chill of fall and the cold of winter are natural times of darkness and stillness for a reason. Let’s put the wonderful and beautiful forces of nature to good use.

Namaste,
Carol

For twenty-three years, I’ve used Feng Shui as a certified consultant to enhance the flow of Chi and create harmony in the external environments of homes and offices. That harmony and flow of life energy offers healing and support to the inhabitants of those spaces (my clients and myself).

That healing and support helps us to be who we really are internally and/or who we wish to be on the inside.  Typically without even realizing it, we are attracted to spaces that reflect our current inner state of being. When I see a client’s space, it’s as if I’ve been given a window to look deep inside, beyond the mask worn for the external world.
Often when I meet with clients, perhaps it’s a couple or business partners, they’ll smile and tell me “everything is wonderful...there are no problems in our lives.” But, when I look at their space or at the floor plans for their space, I can see that’s not the case. Occasionally, the layout of the space will show me signs of relationship issues. If that happens, I’ll smile in response to the couple and advise that we discuss making changes to ensure the relationship stays intact.  Not everyone is prepared to handle my response. I’ve literally had instances where one of the partners leaves in the middle of our appointment only for me to learn from the remaining partner that the relationship is in shreds!
Sometimes, it's not easy to be honest about who we really are. We live in a world filled with expectations and we get caught up in perpetuating those identities. They begin in childhood: “be a good girl”; and expand while we’re in elementary and high school: “make the honor roll” “be the star football player” “you must be first chair in band”. They continue throughout college and career: “finish in the top ten percent” “get promoted” “get that raise”; Expectations even find their way into our communities and families: “keep your lawn perfect”  “drive a new car” “be the strict parent” “be the cool parent.” The list goes on and on. We’re expected to wear many hats and be different people all at the same time. How can we be true to our inner being when we’re trying to live up to so many expectations? Who doesn't long to remove 'the mask' and be authentic? 
Of course, we all have responsibilities. Where would our society be if we didn’t each follow the rules and laws to keep some order? I’m not suggesting we throw all caution to the wind and ignore our responsibilities. I believe we can be a parent, a daughter/son, an employee, a homeowner, a spouse, etc. and meet our “external” responsibilities while still being true to ourselves and meeting our “internal” responsibilities.
George I. Gurdjieff, an Eastern mystic, noted that many of us lead our lives as if we were in jail! We get so caught up in doing the “right thing”, putting on the “right” face, and living up to others' expectations, that many of us may come to a point where we know we’re uncomfortable, unsettled, and unsatisfied, but truly don't know who we are or how to fix things! I was introduced to this concept 25 years ago, when I first hired a life coach. The coach had me draw a small circle inside a big circle, labeling the center "ME". I then was instructed to write roles I played in life, inside the circle, and even outside. Some examples included that I was: a child, a spouse, an employee, a yoga practitioner, a President of a non-profit business organization, a volunteer, a synagogue member,  an exercise enthusiast, a sibling, etc. I then drew circles around each, to see which 'took over' being just me. A light-bulb went off when I realized that "I" was very small, almost non-existent, outside of these self imposed personalities that "I" had become!
So, it was 25 years ago that I began to learn how to remove the masks of expectation...the masks that had become so ingrained, so a part of my every day life, that they had taken over my authentic self.  During a visit to another country, I met a mystic who said, upon meeting me, "You are not the one you think you are." I pondered that statement for a very long time, as truly, I wondered: Who am I really? It's not an easy road to take to peel away the layers of expectation. In fact, in many ways it's much easier to keep all the masks on, continue to meet expectations and play roles without giving any thought to how all of that busy-ness feeds our soul and allows our true essence to shine. We can ignore our authentic selves; ignore the  desire of our essence to be expressed; ignore our true being...but, when we do that we frequently become ill in the “jail” we’ve created for ourselves
Synchronicity played out in my life when I discovered yoga and meditation, and later, Feng Shui, (Bau) Building Biology, and the Himalayan Singing Bowls. Soon after I graduated high school, I discovered yoga and meditation. As I advanced in my career, the practice of yoga and mediation helped me survive the years as a VP at a major NYC bank when I frequently suffered from severe headaches and migraines. When I left the bank, I “fell” into my yoga and meditation practice! It was a saving grace of respite and a reminder that life is more than the fast pace that I’d been immersed in. Not long after I left the bank, I discovered Feng Shui and Building Biology and I learned how the built environment can negatively affect human health, especially if we’re not using healthy, organic materials. I learned that it was possible to “heal” my surroundings, which led to my own improved health. Later in life, I discovered the Himalayan Singing Bowls and learned that they, too, are a tool that enables me to go deeper in meditations and helps me and others feel a deeper sense of calm. That deep resonating calm is when I learn more about myself and nurture my true inner being. Each of these tools have helped me remove the masks, peel away the layers of expectation, and allow the true light of my being to be expressed.
As a Feng Shui Consultant, I have found that the Universe often speaks to me about me through my clients' surroundings! When there’s something that I need to take a look at in my own life, I might find that two or three clients in a row will have the same Feng Shui anomalies. For instance, I’ve experienced visiting two homes for Feng Shui consultations and finding a bathroom in the center of the home, which is the health area of the bagua. Then, I’ve gone on to my next consultation and found, once again, that there’s a bathroom in the center of the home. A bathroom in this area of the bagua indicates a drain on health because of the toilet in the room.  When I see a bathroom in this location, I advise adding cures to the area to support the health of the occupants. When I see specific issues in a repetitive pattern like this, I definitely go home and take a look at the health area of my own home. I also spend time considering where there might be an imbalance in my life. I’m human...sometimes the Universe has to provide insights several times for me to “get it” and this is something that my fellow Feng Shui consultants have also experienced. As I believe that we are all part of the greater One, it is not a surprise that I receive this type of feedback. It may be something to begin looking at in your own life. What are the repetitive patterns or synchronicities  that show up in numerous places? 
Take a moment to consider what masks you wear.  Are you really who you think you are? Are you allowing your true essence to be expressed? Just as I often advise people to remove the physical clutter from their lives, I am suggesting that we each have a plethora of “cluttering” personalities that we present to the world and there’s a good chance that at least some of those personalities don’t represent the true you. This month (the month that ends with Halloween and costume celebrations)  I'll share some ideas about removing the masks and allowing our true inner beings to shine.  Not everyone is attracted to this journey, but it can be quite liberating.  Removing some of those masks will lighten up your life! Our homes are perfect metaphors for us to find clues to changes lying in wait for us to put into action. Fasten your seatbelt - this month we'll be diving into some new territories!

Namaste,
Carol

Over the last month I’ve focused on self-care, reviewing why it’s important and some of the many ways to care for yourself. As I’ve mentioned before, self-care doesn’t have to break your bank. If fact, try thinking about taking the time for self-care as a savings plan. When you practice consistent self-care, you reduce your stress, anxiety, and general wear & tear on your body and mind. You’re able to focus, work efficiently, and increase your productivity - all while feeling better physically, emotionally, and mentally.

In my recent Friday morning blog posts and Chi Insight videos (posted on Facebook and YouTube on Wednesday afternoons) I’ve mentioned meditation, exercise, good nutrition, and getting enough sound sleep as ways to care for yourself. Another important way to practice self-care is to make sure your environment at home and work supports you by enhancing the flow of Chi, or life force. As a certified Feng Shui practitioner for over 20 years, I’ve helped thousands of people adjust their environments to make them more relaxing and peaceful, conducive to productive work, and welcoming and nurturing to relationships. There are so many small ways we can take care of ourselves, that offer huge rewards. We just have to make the self-care time a priority.

The following checklist from “Renewed: Finding Your Inner Happy in an Overwhelmed World” (www.LucilleZimmerman.com) is a wonderful tool for checking in with yourself to see if you’re providing consistent self-care. Put a check next to each of the  statements that apply to you and see where most of your check-marks can be found. In the first half of the list, or the second half?  This exercise will help you see how you’re truly feeling and whether or not you’re practicing adequate self-care.

Self-Care Checklist
Do you....

___ Overspend, Overeat, and overindulge

___ Expect others to read your mind and meet your needs

___ Withhold success from yourself

___ Ignore your deepest desires, but seek to fulfill the desires of others

___ Ignore your real emotions and put on a “happy” face

___ Allow others to emotionally, physically, or sexually abuse you

___ Deflect compliments

___ Say “yes” because you can’t say “no”

___ Avoid time along

___ Over-exhaust yourself because of your need to feel important, needed, or worthy

___ Fear emotional intimacy

___ Try to do it all yourself, never asking for help

___ Try to appear perfect


OR, do you...

___ Take time for yourself

___ Allow yourself to make mistakes and to be open about your weaknesses

___ Spend time with friends

___ Rest

___ Play

___ Exercise

___ Eat well

___ Spend money wisely

___ Pursue your dreams

___ Share honestly with others

___ Enjoy and make time to enjoy and be intimate with those you love

___ Forgive

___ Allow others to be disappointed in you

___ Appropriately express emotions, including anger and sadness

___ Tell others what they mean to you

___ Be present for your children

___ Receive love from others

___ Say “yes” and “no”

___ Create a powerful support system for yourself

___ Celebrate accomplishments big and small

Once you begin to practice consistent self-care, you’ll find yourself in contact with others who also take the time to care for themselves. Maybe you’ll strike up a conversation with someone you see walking regularly in the park at the same time you walk, or you’ll meet someone in a meditation group. Perhaps when you visit the local farmers market to purchase quality  vegetables, you’ll share a recipe with another market regular. That’s how communities are built. Before you know it, you’ll have a supportive self-care community.  I’ll talk more about community during the month of July.

I’ve been focusing on the theme of self-care over the last few weeks in my writing because my friend and teacher, Bhante Dhammawansha will be visiting the Lehigh Valley area in a week to offer some meditation events.

Meditation is one of my primary self-care activities because it clears my mind and allows me to move through the day with a feeling of peace. I started meditating at the age of 19, and it was challenging to begin a regular meditation practice. For the first 20 years I believed that I could only meditate if I were with a group of people, so meditation classes were a part of my weekly schedule. When I started living alone for the first time in my life I found that I was able to meditate alone, but I still love to meditate with others, too.

About nine months ago I discovered an app that helps with my daily meditation. That sounds like a contradiction: how can technology, help with meditation?  I was originally looking for an app that I previously had downloaded to my phone that sent Himalayan Singing Bowl sounds at pre-planned times. I used those sounds as a reminder to meditate at various points in the day. What I found was the Insight Timer app that allows me to time myself while meditating, to awaken to the sound of a singing bowl, and the use of a guided meditation, if I want to choose one.

Insight Timer is a free app that can be downloaded onto Apple or Android devices that offers something for everyone from beginners to those who have been “sitting” for years with a dedicated practice. Meditation means different things to different people. Some people see it as a sacred, quiet, and solitary experience. Others believe sharing their meditation experience enhances it. For some, that changes day by day and Insight Timer offers a community for all of those people.

The app offers “members” the ability to select the time and duration of their meditation, a variety of ambient sounds and bells for alerts or to use during meditation, hundreds of guided meditations, and a log of personal statistics and milestones for tracking progress (if that’s something you want to do).  Insight Timer also offers over 2500 discussion groups and local meet-ups with the central focus of meditation and it’s benefits.

The app also lets you know the number of people meditating (using the app) while you’re meditating. I mostly use the timer and the ambient sounds, but I love that I can see that people all over the world are meditating “with me” at the same time.
One of my favorite meditations is the “Loving Kindness Meditation.”             Here’s one version:
May I be peaceful.  
May I be happy.  
May I be well.  
May I be safe.  
May I be free from suffering.
 
May all beings be peaceful.  
May all beings be happy.  
May all beings be well.  
May all beings be safe.  
May all beings be free from suffering. 

The Insight Timer slogan is “peace in our timer”  and the creators believe that meditation can change the world for the better and that their goal is to offer the opportunity for  “a free and meaningful daily practice for all, regardless of financial means.”  You can download the app and get more information at https://insighttimer.com .

 I know my meditation practice has enhanced my life in many ways. It helps bring focus, peace, and balance to my daily life. It calms me in times of stress. It brings me joy to know that I’m a conduit for positive energy and love in the world through meditation. If you already have a meditation practice, this app might be a tool to enhance it. If you’ve wanted to begin a meditation practice, but don’t know how or just haven’t been able to make time for it, Insight Timer could help. It’s another way to take time for yourself in the midst of the busy-ness of life. If we don’t make time to care for ourselves, how can we ask others to do it?